omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
