I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
