party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
