Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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