Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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