I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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