I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
