I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
