Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize