Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it hurts more in the daytime
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
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I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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