How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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