I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
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My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
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thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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