come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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