I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
