i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
