Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
