So drunk, too bad you don't want this
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
