hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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