Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
