Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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