The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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