I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
