k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
