What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
