How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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