okay pat passed out under dana's car
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
