I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Let's paint friendship bongs
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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