One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize
