I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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