Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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