fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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