I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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