I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
