white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
