Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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