we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize