She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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