Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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