3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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