I got chris browned last night
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
