paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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