You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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