I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
