bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Randomize
