Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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