Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
