You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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