i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
