There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
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i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
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I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him