I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later