DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...