S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.