Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
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