Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok