I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
