I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
