Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.