I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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