I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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