windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
