Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
