Ketchup is God's man juice
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
