never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
