watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
