mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
