im drinking this country out of the recession.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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