i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
