There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
