nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
