This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
