just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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