Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
