So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
