i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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