I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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