Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
