Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
